Another Year

Yesterday would have been my father's birthday. And, for the first time in the 9 years that he has been gone, I didn't cry.

It sounds silly to people who have not truly lost someone close to them, but the pain of that loss never leaves you. You do learn to turn it off a little better, but it is always there under the surface. And, while I feel that I can keep it in check pretty well now, there are times where it pops up out of the blue and I am suddenly sobbing uncontrollably. Someone mentions his name, or talks about how special their own father is, and boom, I am crying like a baby.


I am so fortunate to have had a father like mine was. He was a great listener; he could solve any problem I ever had; he could make me laugh no matter how sad/mad I was feeling; he was a great storyteller and had a beautiful smile; he loved his friends and family with his whole heart; he gave wonderful hugs (as most good fathers do!); he was so smart & funny...I could truly go on and on and on... :) I am still amazed by the number of lives he touched. And, I am most honored to call him my Daddy.


I am glad that I was able to reflect on him on his birthdate this year and not be consumed with the sadness that accompanies the loss of a loved one. Instead, I was filled with the love that I felt for him and the love that I know he felt for me. I bathed in the lovely memories that he left me with, most especially the blessing of having a parent who helped me grow, made me feel safe and cherished me. I gave praise to God for the great gift of having a father who was as wonderful as mine was.


I hope that you express to your family/friends how very much you love them everytime you see them. I know that families can be frustrating (trust me I know, I work with mine!), but they still are what have shaped you to be the human beings that you are. I am blessed in the knowledge that the last thing I said to my father and the last thing he said to me was, "I love you." And, more blessed because I know that we both meant it.